Johsf;ashfd!

So, okay.

I apparently have no sense of things that are needed to be kept safe. I've lost everything! EVERYTHING!

I lost my passport, I lost my walet, I lost everything I needed to keep safe and now, now it's costing me precious stress free living!

I swear, I'm sweating like a mofo right now because I'm insanely stressed out!

This has been my day -

I went to the service ontario building here to say hey, I lost my birth certificate, please help me out. What do they say, well, that will be 6-8 weeks if you do a paper application, 15 days online. I think okay, 15 days, sure why not. Then I see the $35.00 replacement charge. Okay, that's my own fault, let me pay!

Then I see it, the blasted thing that always appears when dealing with online payment. The dreaded, most hateful, you need a credit card blah blah blah. I hate this! HATE IT! I don't have one and my parents, bah, they don't let me use theirs so I mean, how about I take your 6-8 weeks and do a paper application. Then the bank says to me, oh hey do you want a credit card and I'm all like yeah I do! Then my conscience kicks in and is like, "Oh bean, you cannot handle a credit card, do not attempt to do so". Hopefully Dad either says yes, or it's going to be one of those cards that sits in my drawer never to leave but for emergencies.

So that problem gets put on hold for now. I then find out that my license which is expired, now costs $125.00 rather than the $60 I paid back in the day. For this I need my birth certificate (which of course I don't have), my student card, my expired license and of course, my Dad since I have no 2nd photo id. Woo. As for my social insurance number card, that's the least of my worries, I know my number. It will cost me $10.00 and I need my birth certificate. My health card... my beautiful pristine conditioned red and white card that never needs to be renewed... it doesn't cost me any money! I do however need my birth certificate, my student id and my license or an income tax stub. This one is probably going to be number 3 on my list.

So if I could rank them it would go:
Birth certificate
Sin card
Health card
Driver's license

Only issue with the health card thing is they're booking like 2 months in advance for an appointment.

Did I mention I'm going to destroy my room in search of my wallet?! I had it like a month ago. Where is it!?!??!

HKLJHGSLJKGFLAKGF!

As for how applying for unemployment went. Well that's for another time.

Orillia

Well, I'm back in it. Have been for a while actually. It's been a constant go-go adventure since I've been home though. Whether it's been meeting up with people I've not seen in a bit, or going to Barrie with my Dad or Bala with Mom, or Toronto with Sam, it's been a busy 10 days.

10 days... seems so quick. Yet, when I was on the boat 10 days went by at a snail's pace. Oh well.

So what's happened lately? Zippo. I've divulged my inner geek and went on a shopping spree at Manticore (which is the book shop here). I was quite happy when I left even though purchasing 7 books does not help the 3 that I have on the go right now. They're all classics, the kind of books you may have had to read in grade 11 or grade 12. The best books are wasted on those who don't care. I have to go back and pick up the last book I ordered today. It's called Lolita and it's an absolutely ridiculous book about a man who falls in love with a child and tries not to act on his pedophilic desires. It's apparently extremely witty and while you want to scrunch your face up the whole time apparently it's also insanely addictive.

Besides that, It's a day for errands. I've some how managed to lose the items most important to my identification. My birth certificate has picked up and walked away, as well as my SIN card. Great no? So I'm off to the city building today to report them both, (although I am sure they're just stumbling somewhere around my room it's better to be safe than sorry) and get replacements. I also have to go to the bank, deposit a cheque and make a transfer. I need to pick up two cards, one for a friend of mine and the other for my godson. Then after that it's off to the post office to send off my OSAP papers. Ugh OSAP. Time to start paying that back I guess.

That's about it.

Oh, and I got the facetime beta. It's exactly like skype... Nonetheless I'm excited.

Of birds, bees and butterflies.

What's in a name, what's in my sleepy eyes half the time?  If you would have asked how I was, I'd have said I'm just fine. I know it's best if I move on; let you swim in the wake of this song. If I could've seen to this end, I'd do it all over again.

The reds, the blues, and the things we cannot see.

It's a chilly morning out on the Kawartha. I had originally thought of going upstairs to write but with the amount of cold air coming in through my window and radiating from the pane I think it's better for me to stay in bed with my tea and heavy blanket.

The trees are red as can be along Buckhorn Lake (which is where we are right now), makes me think that the area had the perfect amount of rain and heavy sunshine. Trees turn shades of Red, Orange and Yellow depending on the amount of glucose stored and left over after photosynthesis stops. I suppose sumac bushes don't use much energy since well, they're always red in the fall.

The lake is a crazy blue and so is the sky. It's an absolutely beautiful day out and even though it's cold, it's still amazing. I'm going to be really sad when this cruise ends in 3 days. It's a heartbreak like no other. So insanely conflicted. Part of me cannot wait to get off this boat. No more living in a hole, no more living for 10 days at a time, no more boat food, no more drama, no more biting my tongue etc. At the same time though, I'm going to miss watching the sunrise over the water, watching the sunset from my window, not having to wear makeup every day, the freedom of being parent free, the boat food, traveling around, seeing all the locks and the bridges and even some of the people.

It's time to move on, start a new adventure, follow the path that I'm supposed to be on right now. It won't be easy to do, but everything worth doing is never easy.

New Music Finds!

Two sites to check out:

The Mixtape Club
A website that streams it's mixtapes (which is irritating because some of them are amazing...) and archives each one. The idea is ten club members, ten mixes. They're all pretty neat but my favourite so far would have to be the one that begins streaming when you click the link.

Psychometry
An itunes podcast available for download, these mixes by DJ Andrio are electronic, house and remixes pulled together in an intense ear orgasm. So far the mixes have been smooth, enjoyable and perfect for both walking around the city and studying.

Turn my head out.

You didn't get to heaven but you made it close.

This is it.

Well, it's the end. The very last trip. Once more up the Trent-Severn then it's off to the real world again.

I'm scared. No jokes.

How is it that I will be able to do the following:
-Survive my parents
-Pay my OSAP
-Live the life I'm used to
-Do the things I want to with zero income
-Still be me

I don't particularly enjoy the idea of becoming an adult. I've been fighting it since the beginning of last year. It's not a fun idea when you think of it. Responsibilities, real jobs, and who knows what else it will bring. I'm not ready. I'm not mature enough for it. I want to hide in a hole and wake up and be 17 again.

This whole thing is just being brought into focus even more with my 23rd birthday coming up. Ewww, 23. It sounds so old. 23. What were my parents doing at 23? Dad had a 2 year old, Mom was a manager of a hotel, and even Ami, Keri and Mel were all situated well in their lives.

University only delays the maturation process...

I want to go back to that. It can't really be time to move on can it?

Changes, I've never been good with them...

Issue.

I have one.

Go to Waterloo for Halloween and go to the coolest party ever, or, go to Waterloo for my birthday, and do the same thing we do each time I come to visit but this time it's all about me.

Each has it's pros and cons.

Halloween:
Pros - see everyone I've not for a while
        - see Dube
        - dress up and be stupid
Cons - Spend $100 to get there + money for food, and anything else
         - Not go to Waterloo for my birthday

Birthday:
Pros - see everyone I care about
        - have a birthday celebration for me
        - drink beer, get a cake, etc.
        - extra week to adjust back to being at home and start eating regularly again
Cons - Miss Halloween
         - Send $100 to get there + money for food, and other stuff
         - Not see Dube

So there are more pros for my birthday but the con of missing halloween and missing Dube is huge.

Ah, decisions decisions!

Cheese Tea Biscuts

They are perfection.

A lovely orgasm for my mouth.

So soft, so rich, so lush and yummy too!

Perfect with tea, milk, juice or cocoa.

Anything better and I'd eat my hat.

And I love my hat.