Well, after almost 2 years I think it's time to move. Yep. time to move.
Here's my new home: http://www.albeard.tumblr.com/
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
23 in 2
I'm 23 in 2 days.
The thought of this makes me want to vomit.
One minute I feel like I'm on track with everything, the next minute I feel like I'm falling behind everyone and everything. It's a tough battle indeed.
My dad at 23 had a 2 year old, my mom was managing a hotel, my sister was in Korea teaching and well, I'm a recent graduate who cannot drive a car, had no job prospects and a $32,000 debt to pay off. Oh yeah, real winner this one.
It just seems like I'm wasting time and that is not much fun at all. But I suppose it's okay, there are other people in my position and I have the greatest support group I could ask for. Sure they pressure me a lot and make little backhanded comments, but I know it's all in hopes that I'll keep trying.
Seriously though, 23. It's an accomplishment in itself. I'm proud of the person I am and my successes, I just can't say I'm really on the up and up with where I am in life.
The thought of this makes me want to vomit.
One minute I feel like I'm on track with everything, the next minute I feel like I'm falling behind everyone and everything. It's a tough battle indeed.
My dad at 23 had a 2 year old, my mom was managing a hotel, my sister was in Korea teaching and well, I'm a recent graduate who cannot drive a car, had no job prospects and a $32,000 debt to pay off. Oh yeah, real winner this one.
It just seems like I'm wasting time and that is not much fun at all. But I suppose it's okay, there are other people in my position and I have the greatest support group I could ask for. Sure they pressure me a lot and make little backhanded comments, but I know it's all in hopes that I'll keep trying.
Seriously though, 23. It's an accomplishment in itself. I'm proud of the person I am and my successes, I just can't say I'm really on the up and up with where I am in life.
She's Back!
I'd like to point out that Lykke Li is back with a new single and a b-side both of which are available for download off her website. All you need to do is sign up for her mailing list and you get both the single and the b-side for free.
Mmm free.
Now what do I think of it? The single is called "Get Some" and is going on my skank playlist, which consists of songs that make me want to be very aggressive with guys and essentially make me feel like I'm a million dollars. A playlist sampler? Well let's see, there's this song, lots of Ke$ha, Willow Smith's new song, and some Robyn among others. You now have a good idea of how it sounds.
As for the b-side, it's much slower, softer and is essentially everything a b-side is supposed to be. Both of them are fantastic songs though and both very download-able!
Mmm free.
Now what do I think of it? The single is called "Get Some" and is going on my skank playlist, which consists of songs that make me want to be very aggressive with guys and essentially make me feel like I'm a million dollars. A playlist sampler? Well let's see, there's this song, lots of Ke$ha, Willow Smith's new song, and some Robyn among others. You now have a good idea of how it sounds.
As for the b-side, it's much slower, softer and is essentially everything a b-side is supposed to be. Both of them are fantastic songs though and both very download-able!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
I've got a cold.
I'm in Waterloo for the week as you know and well, every time I'm here I get ill. I contract some horribly fascinating disease that is only attracted to my specific immune system. I should be that person studied for how different environments effect immunity. I'm that bubble child.
Approximately 72 hours after I arrived back in Canada's technology triangle I started feeling it. Oh yes, the heavy congestion, the wheezy breathing, the stuffed up nose, the intense weight in the chest, the ball in the throat. Ah, the signs of a head cold and an ENT infection.
It's like the world mocks me when I arrive back here. It infects me with an incurable disease, I lose my watcard, everything is expensive, and I have the constant reminder that I am no longer a student and that when the first years this year were born, I was in grade 1. GRADE 1!
Ugh.
It probably does not help that I drink heavily each time I'm here and participate in drinking games that require you to drink out of a communal bowl of beer.
Ah... perhaps its more lifestyle than environmental. A revelation has occurred.
Approximately 72 hours after I arrived back in Canada's technology triangle I started feeling it. Oh yes, the heavy congestion, the wheezy breathing, the stuffed up nose, the intense weight in the chest, the ball in the throat. Ah, the signs of a head cold and an ENT infection.
It's like the world mocks me when I arrive back here. It infects me with an incurable disease, I lose my watcard, everything is expensive, and I have the constant reminder that I am no longer a student and that when the first years this year were born, I was in grade 1. GRADE 1!
Ugh.
It probably does not help that I drink heavily each time I'm here and participate in drinking games that require you to drink out of a communal bowl of beer.
Ah... perhaps its more lifestyle than environmental. A revelation has occurred.
4 days in a row?!
What a streak! Imagine I had no life and internet every day? I could go a whole month blogging every day.
Too bad that's most definitely not the case. :(
Too bad that's most definitely not the case. :(
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
iTunes.
I’ve been walking in the same way as I did. I look around but you're nowhere and I don't know if I can pick up because when I wake up, you're still gone. Please don't let me go. Come roll the dice for me. If you're faced with a choice, will you tell me once again how we're gonna be just friends?
I love you more than I should. They're telling the puppet that I need to be put down. Don't stand there watching me, follow me, show me what you can do. You graze me with your cold shoulder. Breaking down and coming undone, it's a roller coaster kind of rush. So come on skinny love just last the year.
Come into bed with me, I know you want to.
I love you more than I should. They're telling the puppet that I need to be put down. Don't stand there watching me, follow me, show me what you can do. You graze me with your cold shoulder. Breaking down and coming undone, it's a roller coaster kind of rush. So come on skinny love just last the year.
Come into bed with me, I know you want to.
Tidal Waves.
If I could do anything, go anywhere, meet anyone, or fulfill any dream, I'd pass up every opportunity if the other option was to just sit together with you for as long as you'd keep me around for.
Words that I do not know the meaning of but do know now because I googled them.
Dendrophiliac: One who is aroused by trees; one who humps trees.
Aspidistra: A monocot, found to inhabit the floors of forests in eastern Asia and eastern India.
Machicolation: An opening between supports on a castle parapet for dropping missiles on an enemy.
Pricklouse: a tailor - so called in contempt.
Trepidation: A state of dread or alarm; nervous agitation; apprehension; fright.
Crepuscular: Appearing, or active at twilight.
Aspidistra: A monocot, found to inhabit the floors of forests in eastern Asia and eastern India.
Machicolation: An opening between supports on a castle parapet for dropping missiles on an enemy.
Pricklouse: a tailor - so called in contempt.
Trepidation: A state of dread or alarm; nervous agitation; apprehension; fright.
Crepuscular: Appearing, or active at twilight.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
The Tree Planting Challenge
Ontario has recently started a tree planting challenge across the province to help inform the general public not only about the benefits of having lots of green in the area but also about different species (especially species at risk), biodiversity and how different niches work.
A large amount of people are now living in newly zoned subdivisions and while I'm not the biggest fan or urban sprawl, a huge percent of these people are taking their new homes and lawns and planting trees, shrubs and gardens.
The MNR website has put up a tree atlas to help you determine which tree works best for your area across the province depending on soil type, sun availability, and personal needs as well as region. The site also offers information about which types of trees you shouldn't be planting because they're either invasive, and out compete native tree species, or a susceptible to different diseases. As well, the website lists trees that are not readily available for purchase.
A large amount of people are now living in newly zoned subdivisions and while I'm not the biggest fan or urban sprawl, a huge percent of these people are taking their new homes and lawns and planting trees, shrubs and gardens.
The MNR website has put up a tree atlas to help you determine which tree works best for your area across the province depending on soil type, sun availability, and personal needs as well as region. The site also offers information about which types of trees you shouldn't be planting because they're either invasive, and out compete native tree species, or a susceptible to different diseases. As well, the website lists trees that are not readily available for purchase.
Explosion!
It's not like anything happened, so there are no dead bodies, or crazy amounts of soup on the floor (though last night Euni and I made soup and it was awesome).
Yesterday I had bubble tea with a friend of mine and it was one of those big, let me rant to you for 2 hours as an impartial party, inexpensive therapy sessions. I have a lot of things I want to say but I just don't know how to say them and 99% of the reason I don't know how to say it, is because I'm afraid to. PETRIFIED! Have you ever needed to say something to someone, to see what they think, to see if you're crazy but are completely terrified they'll over react, or brush it off, or make you feel like an idiot for thinking these things? Well, that's pretty well just it.
I mean for one it's impossible timing and essentially always will be. You can't do something like this during this time of year or during the other 45 weeks of the year, it's just mean and what a weight to throw at someone. It's no doubt going to be kind of brushed off (and I can hope it won't) but I need to get this out. I suppose I'll just wait until Christmas break, perhaps see if I can visit, but it won't be in a drunken mess at new years.
I need to sit down and really get my thoughts in order, get everything I want to say sorted and present it in a way that won't get a defensive response. It's not an attack, just an inquiry, a plea for help. And yeah, I think about things way too much which probably makes me over analyze or take things more personally than I should but that's something that I can't change. It's not my fault that I'm sensitive when it comes to things like this.
I just feel like this is going to build up until I explode and besides, I was told to communicate.
Yesterday I had bubble tea with a friend of mine and it was one of those big, let me rant to you for 2 hours as an impartial party, inexpensive therapy sessions. I have a lot of things I want to say but I just don't know how to say them and 99% of the reason I don't know how to say it, is because I'm afraid to. PETRIFIED! Have you ever needed to say something to someone, to see what they think, to see if you're crazy but are completely terrified they'll over react, or brush it off, or make you feel like an idiot for thinking these things? Well, that's pretty well just it.
I mean for one it's impossible timing and essentially always will be. You can't do something like this during this time of year or during the other 45 weeks of the year, it's just mean and what a weight to throw at someone. It's no doubt going to be kind of brushed off (and I can hope it won't) but I need to get this out. I suppose I'll just wait until Christmas break, perhaps see if I can visit, but it won't be in a drunken mess at new years.
I need to sit down and really get my thoughts in order, get everything I want to say sorted and present it in a way that won't get a defensive response. It's not an attack, just an inquiry, a plea for help. And yeah, I think about things way too much which probably makes me over analyze or take things more personally than I should but that's something that I can't change. It's not my fault that I'm sensitive when it comes to things like this.
I just feel like this is going to build up until I explode and besides, I was told to communicate.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Dear Waterloo...
And to tell the truth.
Oh, this could be the last time.
So here we go,
like a sail's force into the night
And if I made a fool, if I made a fool, if I made a fool
on the road, there's always this.
And if I'm sewn into submission,
I can still come home to this.
And with a face like a dad and a laughable stand,
you can sleep on the plane or review what you said.
When you're drunk and the kids leave impossible tasks
you think over and over, "hey, I'm finally dead."
Oh, if the trip and the plan come apart in your hand,
you look contorted on yourself your ridiculous prop.
You forgot what you meant when you read what you said,
and you always knew you were tired, but then,
where are your friends tonight?
where are your friends tonight?
Oh, this could be the last time.
So here we go,
like a sail's force into the night
And if I made a fool, if I made a fool, if I made a fool
on the road, there's always this.
And if I'm sewn into submission,
I can still come home to this.
And with a face like a dad and a laughable stand,
you can sleep on the plane or review what you said.
When you're drunk and the kids leave impossible tasks
you think over and over, "hey, I'm finally dead."
Oh, if the trip and the plan come apart in your hand,
you look contorted on yourself your ridiculous prop.
You forgot what you meant when you read what you said,
and you always knew you were tired, but then,
where are your friends tonight?
where are your friends tonight?
I'm a house bum.
I'm living with the coolest of the cool this week. I miss them so much and this feels so comfortable and warm.
You know that feeling you get when it's the middle of December and you're wearing an ugly Christmas sweater and you're sitting in front of a fire and drinking coffee with baileys and you're listening to good music while wrapped in a blanket? That's the feeling I have right now.
You know that feeling you get when it's the middle of December and you're wearing an ugly Christmas sweater and you're sitting in front of a fire and drinking coffee with baileys and you're listening to good music while wrapped in a blanket? That's the feeling I have right now.
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