Saturday, November 21, 2009

Dust me off, hold me up, let the light back in

Time to update.

Wow... 5 months goes by in the blink of an eye. Now the end of November, this is definitely acting as a procrastinatory tool. I hate work. I hate school. Let me rant.

Updates since July hmmm... oh how can I ever be expected to remember all the goodness. Maybe just highlights then?

- I got a job, still there. Woo. Money.
- Ami had her baby. Woo. Niece. She's absolutely beautiful. I've still not met her and that sucks life out of me each day but I'll meet her eventually and it will be so fantastic.
- Mel had her baby. Woo. Nephew. Parker is sooo cute and such a little man already.
- Moved from Court's back in with the boys. Woo. Boys.
- Orientation week. Oh my gee. I can't even explain how that felt. It was truly one of the best experiences of university. The only thing I can think to top that is finally finding my niche here.
- Went and saw Metric and The Stills with Zack. Woo. Music. It was probably the best concert I've ever been to (not that I've been to much more than acoustic shows but nonetheless).
- Had many many many scifun adventures.
- Had my grad photos taken.
- Fell in love with so many new musicians.
- Made a bunch of new friends.
- Went on an emotional rollercoaster which I'm good with.
- Realized that friendship is one of the most important things in life.

Yep. Sounds about right. There's def a few more that need to go on that list but whatevs.

The week ahead? I can't believe tomorrow is Sunday already but can't stop time...

I have a bunch to do this week. I have an assignment due tomorrow, my presentation material due tomorrow, a lab due monday, a paper due tuesday, and a lab due wednesday. It's so much stupid work. Uncool uncool uncool.

I need to start doing better on these lab reports. I got a 69% on my last one and that's going to destroy my mark in that class so I need at least a 85% on this next one to try and counter act that. Lame sauuuuce.

Nix and I have been gymming a bunch lately and we're going to try and keep going for as long as we can. I'm hoping to get into a routine before the holidays. Hopefully that way things won't go completely downhill by the time I'm home. I can't believe how soon Christmas is. There are only 14 days left in the term. 14!!

Blargel blarg.

Blar-k. I gotta go procrastinate in other ways... aka doing BUGS jazz.
<3.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Bleh.

Sorry for the half month absence. I am quite alive. There have been some mad changes though.

The most important being....

I have a job! Exciting no? I'm working at Pier 1 Imports and while it is only minimum wage, I am quite content with it. The people are nice, it's an awesome learning opportunity, and it's one step closer to being able to pay the bills on time. Whether or not it happens... well we'll see.

Adventures for the 2nd half of the week?

I may or may not have to work today, I'm seriously hoping I do because I really need that money. I have to go over to goodlife today and bitch some people out because they keep charging me fees. I'd like to go over to chapters but we'll see if I have time. I probably won't. I need to clean up the house today, looks like something exploded in it.

Thursday and Friday I have off. Tomorrow I may just do whatever I like. If it's nice I'd like to go out to the park and get some reading in since that's been nearly impossible lately and my books are due soon. Friday is KB's birthday so I've a cake to make. Which may turn into cookies since I'm not sure if I'll have enough ingredients and then we can have cookie sandwiches.

Saturday is another work day but only until 4 so who knows what trouble I'll get into then and Sunday is my Orientation Leader Conference. I'm so excited for it. I get to find out which team I'm on and such and stuff.

So yeah... besides that not too much else is new. I keep waking up with a fat lip because I have a pimple or something that is exploding inward which I suppose is better than exploding outward. The bakery is still alive and going. Just made 18 cupcakes for Catherine's friend's birthday.

Yep... that's all. Check out the bakery blog for more blogging excitement:

http://www.banana-bean-bakery.blogspot.com

<3.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Wednesday already?!

So this week is flying by and today is a perfect example of a day I just wanna shut down and sleep.

Not only do I feel like I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off but the following things are also happening:

1. Astro is seemingly slower than usual I feel.
2. I have 24 cupsized baked goods to bake, frost and package before tomorrow.
3. I have 3 more dinners to make. Luckily 1 is a chili and can be made at the same time as the other two. This will be my adventure tomorrow.
4. I had an interview today, I feel it in no way went well.
5. It's raining so essentially I'm exhausted
6. Mandy's going away party is tonight and I so wanna go but am way too tired but I'm going anyway.
7. My stomach hurts
8. I want one of the cupcakes I made.
9. I really want to have some stewed tomatoes and chickpeas but naaaahhh can't since I a) have no money, b) no will to go out into the rain and c) have a bajillion other things to do.
10. I completely forgot to do a food form for our BBQ that apparently needs to be in 30 days prior. It's on Friday.
11. Still no way to pay rent.
12. We're almost out of dish soap, but again, no money
13. I'm extremely worried about the well being of my best friend who is going through some major stress right now.
14. All I want to do is sleep when I can't and be awake when I can.
15. My face is like an acne machine right now and I feel very unpretty.
16. I cannot find my camera and therefore cannot take photos of my creations.
17. I have to phone the lady who interviewed me with references ASAP.
18. I'm so sleepy in case you've not guessed
19. I'm also very sore.
20. I guess I'm going to go back to cooking.

Also...my head is destroying itself over nothing. Completely nothing. I find it quite baffling actually. I mean seriously, who cares about what happens or what people say or anything!

rawr. fustrated.

I seriously cannot believe its already Wednesday. What happened to my week?!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Things I know now that I didn't know before 5am.

1. Running at 5:30am when I can't sleep just to watch the sun come up is extremely liberating and just plain beautiful.

2. When making a smoothie - apple juice is not a good juice. Especially when yogurt is involved.

3. Just because my peanut butter hangs out in the fridge doesn't mean I should use more. Especially when it heats up and spills all over me as I try and eat my bagel.

4. Some weird power outage in my room occurred last night causing my computer to shut off, an unset alarm on my clock to go off and the cd in my cd player to start playing.

5. When I lay down and close my eyes, it feels like I'm spinning. I Only ever spin clockwise.

That's all.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Saturday Night = Cooking, Reveling and Staying Put!

What a week, well since Wednesday.

So lets see Thursday what did I do... I baked, had meetings and went grocery shopping!

Thursday was a very good day. I had a bunch of fun with James when we went shopping. Who knew he was so witty. Anywho, got all my stuffs for cooking this weekend and then we went for dinner and I came home to bake.

Friday was sooo fun but I'm feeling slightly blah today because of it. I dropped off some orders and made some moolah which was pretty awesome. Then Karen, Miche and me went out. We stopped by the Fox to crash the Eng pub crawl. I mean not crash it but see some friends and perhaps some people who didn't necessarily want to see me.

All in all, it went well. Slightly awkward but well none the less. Someone still would probably rather I didn't exist but you know what, I don't really care anymore. We've seen each other and that killed the elephant so now I can do what I want and not feel awkward.

After the fox we went back to Michelle's and finished getting ready for our Starlight adventure. We go to Starlight, have a drink, dance like crazy, get hit on by crazy boys, get bought some drinks, I shamelessly promote my bakery to anyone who will listen, we dance some more and quickly walk home. Luckily for me, James was a nice guy and decided to drive me home from Michelle's. That walk from her house up King street at 2:30am isn't so comforting to think of.

Here is a sample of shinnanigans...

As for today, I finally made it out of bed at 11:30 and it didn't feel like the room was spinning anymore. I've been cooking up a storm since. I made stew and this yummy pilau goodness. Check out the Bakery blog for a photo.

Mmmm... my head is a swimmin' about a bunch of things and I should probably keep cooking. I'm not feeling so great so it will be an early sleep for me tonight.

Keep it real kids.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Wednesdays are fun times!

unce unce unce.... hump day is upon us!

New and exciting news...well not really but still very exciting to me!

My first bakery order is in, made and delivered. Right now there is a very cute and small girl eating a dozen chocolate cupcakes hopefully in a state of bliss and delight. At least I hope so...

2nd order is in and on the docket for tomorrow - 12 banana nut muffins

3rd order is in as well and planned for tomorrow too - 1 banana graham cracker crumble loaf with oatmeal.

4th order is in the works as we speak - 7 dinners and a meal plan.

Busy busy busy.

Today.... OH today is hump day!
-Free cookies, Free condoms, Epic awesome. BUGS lounge ESC 102A 11:30-1:30pm
-Science Convocation is his afternoon (not like I'm graduating)
-SYTYCD party tonight at KB's
-Need to finish James' meal plan ASAP

Tomorrow!
-Departmental Meeting - gotta ask for some alcohol
-BUGS exec meeting
-Grocery Shoppin' with James'
-Bakin' awesomeness for Kbad and Robbo

Mmmm... bout it. Gonna go shower... Paramore is on itunes. Swoon.

Monday, June 8, 2009

It's up! Place your orders, tell your friends! I need some money, You need some cake!

So guys,

win-win.

You get cake etc. I get money.

banana-bean-bakery.blogspot.com

orders: banana.bean.bakery@gmail.com

For shiz, go crazy.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Thursday Window Sunshine

9:50am already...

The past two hours have just flew by. Seems like my days are going by quicker and quicker as the week goes by. Maybe it's a subconscious thing. I'm so paranoid about the job situation that I'm losing time every second (and not in the literal sense). Since I had the shittiest sleep of life ever last night, I'm taking today off.

No thinking about jobs, no worrying about finances and all that good stuff. I think I may die if I don't.

So what highlights are planned for today?

Well, I had banana pancakes this morning for breakfast. They were yummy. I made too much though. Umm what else? Oh, its super nice out. I'm probably going to sit in my window for as long as my bony butt allows me. Perhaps I will read my book, maybe some more laundry via hand wash? I definitely need to do my dishes. Maybe I will watch a movie.

Speaking of movies, I started watching Gundam Wing again... oh god, its so much better this time around. Last time I watched the series I was 12 so yeah, 10 years later (ewww 10...) it's a bazillion times more amazing. I'm still so in love with all of those boys - especially Trowa, those bangs are just so dashing.

Yeah ok, I'ma bounce. I may be back later for entry #2... if I get bored (which is unlikely).

peaceout homes.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Picture me working at a candy store?

The image is even too sweet for me to imagine. I'd take it in an instance though.

Job search is still on... I've even resorted to washing my clothes in my bathtub so I don't have to waste money on laundry machines and what not. I mean, my clothes are a little more stretched out, my back hurts a little more, but hell I've become awfully stingy on what is considered dirty now and my iron has become a very good friend.

Went for a beer, which turned into an iced tea, which turned into 4 + nachos with Chantal (Hi Chantal!!) yesterday afternoon. Was lovely as anticipated, even if it was slightly chilly. At least I got my vitamin D. It was just nice to meet up again and hang out. It means a bunch to me. With Ami in the states and Keri and Mel at home and so busy with their lives it's nice to have someone I can look at like a big sister. We were joined by the Polak for a bit and I swear if I had a running tally going of how many times he said fuck I would probably be at like 50. It's pretty damn amazing. It felt good to talk to someone about all the crap I'm dealing with right now. While all my friends do an amazing job its just nice to get a 3rd party opinion.

So yeah, that went well.

Came home, washed more clothes in the tub (whites this time). Hung out with Court for a bit. She was away on workshop for ESQ for 2 days so I was happy she came home so we could gab. Didn't last long though, I was sleepy, she was sleepy. We went to sleep.

I found this cool site yesterday while playing web sudoku called Lumiosity I think. It's all brain development exercises. You should probably google it. It's an awesome time waster.

What else, what else.

OH! Found a $5 walking to school so I could go print off more resumes and buy a bagel. Was yummy. Oh white bread... I crave you so often. Theres a school in Toronto that is a training school for astrologers. I may look into it more if I can ever find time to sit down and train properly. I have OLT tonight, and tomorrow night too.

Holy Jesus, I cannot believe it's already Wednesday. Time flies when you're unemployed.

FML for shiz.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Playing in iTunes

I will never be, I will never be tall. Tied up, not a miracle in days. Have you felt like this before?

I'm writing you to catch you up on places I've been. Slowly the pen touches paper, in the guidance of the words that you write.

I took the train back, back to where I came from. Note to self, we're running on empty. I was always late, you never afraid that we could be falling. I've got the lights turned off, the door is locked, the bedroom tv's on. Red wine and sleeping pills, help me get back to your arms. There's something about the way you looked at me, let me think for a moment that you and I were meant to be. Love took me by the hand, love took me by surprise. Forget the notion that our emotions can be swept away.

I tried to do handstands for you, I tried to do headstands for you, every time I fell on you. So I'll cross my heart and hope to die, before I have the chance to lie to you my dear who I wish no harm but I know in the end this will turn out wrong. I want to live life and never be cruel. Where do you go, with your broken heart in tow? Did you forget that I was even alive?

Don't think too hard if you think it hurts that bad. I hate to see you cry, lying there in that position. Bright just like the stars above me...

Hold it, I'm about to drop off, let me tell you my last thought.

Today was a pretty day, no disappointments, no expectations on your whereabouts.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

contemplating again

Heart = open today.

The wind kept blowing my tarot cards all over my bed this morning. It didn't phase me much... until I started noticing a pattern. Not like I pretend to know what it means. Nonetheless was quite strange. Knight of swords, 4 of cups, King of wands, 9 of swords, 8 of cups and the strength card. All of them kept blowing out. Each time I would pick them up and put them back on the deck pile. After the 2nd time I figured I'd shuffle them in. Each time they blew onto my bed, those cards would blow out. Mind you, other cards did as well, but those ones always popped out. I'm not sure what the number cards and the strength card entail but the Knight and King card both are indicative of a Man and young man. Would you say we're young adults still or do we classify as men and women now? If not what age does that change at?

Anywho, still no job. It's stripping away layers internally, making it impossible to perform proper mental processes, and have a life. I wake up and think about how I don't have a job. I look for jobs online and think about how I don't have a job. I phone places and think about how I don't have a job. I go to shower and I think of how I don't have a job. I go pee and I think of how I am jobless. I make dinner etc. I'm sure you get the idea. It's constantly on my mind. Two applications in at the WPIRG office so hopefully I at least get an interview for one of them.

Frosh leader interviews are this Saturday! FuPo interviews are this Saturday! Mama and David + the K-man are coming up this Saturday! Saturday will be a busy day I believe. Bah, speaking of frosh week (I'm so excited) I have OLT this week. OLT = Orientation leader training. I wish I had got into this in 2nd year so I didn't have to feel so retardedly old during the sessions. Everyone else is like " a hahaha, ^_^, I'm in 2A". Which makes me want to kill myself. Don't get me wrong, I love the enthusiasm and have nothing against the younger years (for srs!) but fuck me. I'm like "Oh, ha ha... I'm in 4A". Some nice guy made me feel better yesterday though because he was all like "Are you sure you're in Science?" and I was like "Uh, yeah?" and he was like "They're not that many pretty girls in Science!". I am hoping he meant it as in I'm pretty not that I was one of the ugly girls in Science. Health and Safety tonight! I will now know what to do if one of my frosh is being sexually harassed or under the influence of ALCOHOOOL.

What else is new? Oh the BUGS general meeting is on Thursday. Gotta order some funky pizza tomorrow. I'm excited.

New metric album = win
New phoenix album = win
3OH!3 album = win

Other new things:
1.I torrented for the 1st time the other day. That's a big effin' deal.
2.It's been a week since the BIG BUGS CLEAN. The office still looks nice. Lived in, but nice.
3. Court and I went to Vincenzo's deli on Saturday.... fantabulous.

That's about it.
I'm gonna go look up what those cards mean. It's been bothering me all day. However, I have OLT first, guess it will have to wait until I get home.

Peace out homes.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Thursday Morning Thought Process

What's making all that noise? Oh God, why am I wet? Is it raining outside? Did I leave my window open too far?

Oh... it's windy and raining. Well that's nice, I should at least fall back asleep quickly.

*drift drift drift*.

Oh shit! What time is it?

*
checks the clock*

BAH! 6:45! Eff this, I'm going back to sleep.

*drift drift drift, toss*

Am I really even tired anymore... the wind is keeping me awake. Well that's what I get for falling asleep at 11:30. I may as well get up... no, no it's only 7:00... go back to sleep Anna you'll be happier you did. However, I could go running. Are you seriously going to go running in the rain? Don't kid yourself, go back to bed.

*
eyes close, lightening flashes*

Are you shitting me? Now it's going to storm. Oh hell no! I am pissed now...

*
pass out*

Eww... how long did I sleep for? Ugh...8:30. What the, I'm wet again! Why didn't I just close the damn window the first time. That wind is crazy!! It smells good though. Ah, I love the wind. Maybe I'll grab Astro and we'll go sit in the window? Wait... do I have to pee? I think I have to pee. Lets go pee.

*
pees, crawls back into bed*

Courtney is gone already. Man this not working thing sucks. My social interactions are limited to a few hours a day. Lets go sit in the window.

*
changes into track pants, long john shirt, sweatshirt, hat, adds slippers and grabs a blanket*

Mmmmm the window. Mmmm the wind. I love that smell. Should I read my book? I wish it wouldn't be so far away. I don't wanna movvveeeee. Ok, lets try it! Nope, the telekinetics aren't working well today. One more time?... nope. Fine fine fine I'll just go get it.

*
grabs book, laptop too*

Astro, I'm sorry if you get wet. It's not my fault that it's raining. Lets check on Phin and Cuddles.

*
opens book, starts reading*

I wonder what time it is now? The sun is starting to come out more, I like it! 11:30 already?! Holy god. No wonder I feel like I'm going to yak, lets go get some food. Should I have real food or cookies and juice? Cookies and juice?? COOKIES AND JUICE!

I love Thursdays!

Monday, May 11, 2009

Heartbreak hotel

La dee da.

Have you ever come to the realization that no matter how hard you work, how good you look, how much money you save, really no matter what you do some things will never be obtainable? I came to that realization on four different accounts today. Each being of a somewhat different category but all semi related.

1) No matter how hard I work, I will never be the smartest girl I know, and I will never get into grad school because of the lack of effort I've put into school over the past 4 years. Due to this I'll never be able to do the research I want to do in the area that I want to. It makes me absolutely miserable.

2) As hard as I try, I will never find someone who is as handsome as Adam, as protective as Paul, as geeky as Robbie and as funny as Jon, someone who believes in chivalry, someone who grabs my wrist as I walk away just so he can kiss me one more time, a boy who will be there to hold me randomly and never be afraid of what people might say, someone to always be there no matter what the circumstance. Court pointed out that this isn't such a bad thing. It keeps each one of the boys special to me. However, I'm not sure I'll ever be truly happy until I do.

3) I'll never make as much money as I want to. I want to ensure my family never has to worry about finances. That isn't to say I want my children to have everything handed to them, but I would like to support them in the way my parents never could for me. I'm much luckier than some people in the sense that my parents will acknowledge the fact that I'm starving and unable to pay the rent some times.

4) I seriously need to relax and let life happen. I'm so worried about not living life to the fullest and not finding the one for me. Maybe I am living life to the fullest I can right now, and maybe I'm not supposed to find the one just for me right now. No amount of good looks or hard work is ever going to make me feel more fulfilled or make life happen any faster. It can't be helped, but I wish I could get a good sleep at night. The more I worry about this, the more I break out.

Am I asking too much out of myself? When I tell people I'm fully content on my own am I really? A year later and do I still feel like I need someone to hold my hand? I feel like a walking contradiction. One day I'm happy, contented and feel like I can take on the world. The next I'm tired, shy and withdrawn just trying to find the person I can cling to. I'm so afraid to lose my independence yet I'm so willing to give everything I've learned in the past year up just so I can be in love again.

Doesn't that seem strange to you? If so, think how I feel. It's hard going day by day with your head and your heart in two different places at two different times. Life could be worse, but besides having no job, no money and no prospects, it's looking pretty grey from where I'm standing. Where the hell did that damn colour pallet go? I want it back.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Exam time and so on.

It's been a while... like a week and a half, maybe two? Lots has happened in that time. Where should we begin...

Lets tackle Academics first.

Exams start soon. Like in 3 days I have my first one which is closely followed by my second and third on the following day. That's right kiddies, 3 in the first 48 hours. If I make it out alive, I highly doubt I'll have any energy to study for biochem and that's kind of the biggie. Luckily biochem isn't until the end of the month.

Here's what the next week or so looks like:

Sunday (Today!) - Lunch with Karen, off to school, finish Arthropod notes, attempt to get into the Arthropod lab and murder the Chelicerates and Tracheates.

Monday - 6:30 am wake up, be at school around 8 and sit in the lab working on the crustacea until 5. BUGS EOT until 7pm or so then head back to school and do my vertebrate zoology notes. Bed by 1am!

Tuesday - 6:30am wake up, be at school around 8 and sit in the lab. Finish vertebrate notes, do one more big over view of the arthropods. Review vertebrate notes, do evolution notes. Bed by 1am!!!

Wednesday - 6:30am wake up, school by 8, lab it up until 11. Review course notes until 3. Arthropod Zoology 50% Final at 4pm. B2-150. 6:30pm, go study for evolution with Courtney, Gerald, and Diana. Go back to school, review evo alone until 2am. Study for vertebrate until 7am. Review evo until 8.

Thursday - Evolution 75% Final at 9:00am PAC 1-4. Rush from evo to vertebrate. Veretbrate Zoology 45% Final at 12:30pm RCH 103, 105, 110, 112. Go home and die.

Friday - Good Friday, go to church for stations of the cross

Saturday - Mass with Mimmy and her fam-dam

Sunday - EASTER SUNDAY!!!! Celebrate the end of lent by going and getting my nails painted now that I have them. Gorge on food at Mimmy's with her fam and co.

Ah... I cannot wait until Thursday. I know I'll get there, but don't you just wish you could skip days?

Alright, so that takes care of that. Next: School Life

Work - So I'm still unemployed in the summer. I dropped off my resume for Dr. Barton to look at and he pretty much said yeah sure I'll look it over and let you know if we need anyone. Other than that prospects are low. I'm pretty sure I'm going to apply for a part time job at chapters as well. Mainly because I love it there and I think it would be so super fun.

Bugs - Sarah and I went to go order food for the EOT tomorrow on Friday. It seemed relatively straightforward in procedure. I'm still paranoid about being social though. I don't have a credit card and I'd really like to keep it that way but how else are we going to keep up the events. Plus, the chances of me getting one are very slim. I already have a line of credit out and my credit has been taking major blows lately due to the absence of money. Hopefully that will change once I move out of my crazy expensive house.

I think that's it as far as that goes. Oh yeah, it seems like everyone is graduating and I'm miserable.

Life Life is next on the docket I guess...

Money - No news here, I'm broke.

Sleep - Seriously lacking

Boys - Garbage filled. Really and seriously. I'm flustered as fuck. So here's the deal. There is a boy, I like him and it appears he likes me. What's the problem? The fact he's from butt fuck no where and is going home for the summer. I mean I don't want a relationship anyhow so it works out well that he is leaving at the end of the month but it's still frustrating. I've been ever so guarded with this one too. Usually I'm pretty open but I don't want to get too close because I know I'll get my heart squished and I like it plump and beating.

He stayed the night last night and while nothing happened (litterally... nothing...) it was so nice having someone else in my bed with me that didn't bed hog, make me too hot, snore or try and sex me when I didn't feel like it. Its just comforting. I hate sleeping alone... I really do. It's lonely and painful to constantly wake up alone. I don't need someone there clinging to me the whole time, just the presence of another person. Plus he's cute.

We left Hayden's birthday party at 12:30 or so and grabbed the bus home. Ended up seeing Jon, Geoff and Paul. That was awkward. I was afraid they were going to run and tell Graeme but a) none of them care much about what I do with my spare time, b) wouldn't hurt him like that and c) like me too so really... I was more embarassed that I was caught taking a boy home from the bar. Even if it was a boy I already knew.

Hmmm... Mom and David are going to New Mexico to go visit Aim over Easter. Should be nice for all of them. I'm jealous I cannot go also. Stupid finals. Dad has to work over the holiday and I'm spending it with Mary's family. I think thats what I'm most excited about.

Anywho... the arachnids are calling and I need to finish my notes. I'll let you know how the exams went in a week. That is, if I'm still alive.

PS. I've not seen the boys (minus Robbo) for like a month now. My heart is miserable. I miss them like crazy. I miss Adam making fun of me and I miss Paul laughing at me when I do something stupid. TV isn't the same on my own. I cannot wait until I move back in there.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Holy Balls... so this one came a few days early

RANTING TIME~!!

I am officially $17 in the red. Stupid goodlife charged me $28.88 stealing my $12.00 I was saving! Now I have zero money! ZERO! Well, I have $2.00 in my other account which I will need to send my mom my passport stuff since it came back!

Ok, lets organize this anger:
1. I have no money
2. Money was stolen from me!!
3. My passport stuff isn't lost in the mail anymore but I have to send it again
4. I'm busy as fuck this week
5. Finals are soon
10. I have no job for the summer
11. All my friends have money and are going out and doing all these fun things and I cannot.
12. I can't ask my mom for money because she gave me some like 2 weeks ago that went to buying food, and other essential stuff.
13. I could ask my dad...
14. I have a zoology essay due in a week and I've not started!

At least I have food.

Schedule for the week:

Monday: Class, Zoology Lab, Home, Dinner, Homework, Jon & Kate + 8, Sleep
Homework: Resume sending, Zoology research, Chem 140L prep

Tuesday: Class, Chem 140 Lab, Home, Dinner, Homework, Biggest Loser, Sleep

Homework: Zoology research, Zoology brainstorm, Vertebrate lab prep

Wednesday: Class, Hump Day (BUGS Lounge 11-2), Vertebrate lab, Home, Dinner, HW, Sleep

Homework: Zoology Essay Start!! (which in my opinion is enough to last me)

Thursday: Class but only until 9:30am!, Mocktails (BUGS Lounge 11:30-2:30), Ambassador Interview @ 5:30, BUGS elections 5:30-7:00pm, Homework throughout the day of course, Survivor and Hells Kitchen.

Homework: Zoology essay work work work!

Friday: Class,
Fudge (BUGS Lounge 11-2), Home, Dinner, Homework, Sleep
Homework: Zoology essay Finish! Chem 140L final Prep

Saturday: Butterfly Conservatory Trip (11-2)

Homework: Zoology essay edit, Chem 140L final study.

So thats my week... it's going to be hell but I think I'll survive even if just barely.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

A week goes by and I can't talk about it

Changes changes...

Midterms, nominations, cooking attempts, laundry and birthday parties to boot. $12 dollars in the bank and here I am a week later.

My mind is just a swimmin' lately. I'm finding it harder and harder to concentrate on things. I don't even know what the bug is. Sure I feel lethargic and I'm stressed with school to the max. My birth certificate is lost somewhere out there in the mail and I'm paranoid that someone is going to steal my identity. Bahh... I really think I just need to go to the gym. The weather is getting nicer and I can start running outside again. Besides, the summer is coming and I really need to get back into shape.

So midterm yesterday...didn't go great but sure wasn't horrible. I was completely exhausted after. I had been in the BUGS lounge until around 12:30 that night. I came home and had a bath then passed right out. Woke up this morning at 9:30. An amazing 12 hour sleep.

NEWS FLASH!

I've been elected as VP social for BUGS. Let me tell you I'm excited. Now I've got a speech to write and a platform to make up. I have a load of plans for next year and I really want to make sure that nothing changes from this year since it's been amazing. I get to give a speech next thursday. Oh next week is busy busy busy. Wednesday is hump day - cookies and condoms in the BUGS lounge. Thursday - Sarah and I are travelling to St. Jacobs to go grab fudge for friday, the science society is having a society wide event and we're having mocktails from 11-2, then there is elections and dinner (consisting of free pizza and pop) and my speech. Friday - Fudge day of course.

I made stew today. Bloody fantastic. Now I'm doing laundry, updating my resume and soon to be off to bed.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

While Thursdays are my favourite day, this one sure sucked balls

Oh Thursday Thursdays...

How'd biochem go? Oh you know, same old shiz. I definitely feel more confident about this midterm than the first one. It still isn't sitting well with me. There were, out of 29 questions, at least 5 that I sat there and said "wtf? seriously??". For example, a few questions were discussing the effects of mutations on the stability of the T and R states of Hemoglobin.

Hemoglobin is a pretty cool little globular protein. It binds oxygen and delivers the oxygen to our muscles and the rest of the body. The T state has high oxygen affinity while the R state has low affinity for oxygen. The R state is much better in the lungs and the T state is better in the body. The one question on our exam said something to the effect of which of the following is correct?

a) A mutation to hemoglobin will increase the stability of the T-state
b) A mutation to hemoglobin will decrease the stability of the R-state
c) A mutation to hemoglobin will decrease the stability of the T-state
d) A mutation to hemoglobin will increase the stability of the R-state

I could be wrong because some days I am, and this is biochem we're talking about but aren't a and b the exact same and c and d the same also? You would think that given the oxygen binding curve of hemoglobin and the fact that the transition between T and R states is an equilibrium equation, an increase in the stability of the T state would increase as the stability of the R state decreases. If anyone knows the answer to this please let me know.

Besides the stupid questions and the 5 mistakes on our exam which she decided to tell us about while explaining that she hadn't finished our exam until 3am... it went relatively alright. It's done now and that's all that matters. Now it's time to start studying for evolution.

Thursday nights are tv nights. Usually I'd be at Adam, Robbie and Paul's but since I had my midterm tonight I decided I'd just come home. I came home after my exam, made a piece of chicken, cut up some cheese, heated up some tomato sauce and some spinach and threw it all on a bun and cooked it up. It was boring as hell but did the job. Survivor was boring except that JT lost a tooth during the challenge. Hell's Kitchen was about normal except that the Harlem Globetrotters came. I saw them perform in Toronto when I was little. Out of everyone on the show so far, LA is my favourite. She reminds me a loaddd of my friend Callista but Cal is definitely not a Lesbian or crazy butch. Their personalities are very similar. Also, I just saw the new comcast commercial... bloody fantastic. If you've not seen it, check it out here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCP5EaU6IRE&feature=related

Plans for this weekend? Well other than studying for my evolution exam not much. The engineering pubcrawl is tomorrow night. I had full intentions of going at the beginning of the week but I'm really not wanting to anymore. Between my ex going, me having zero money, being ridiculously exhausted, and being in need of a large amount of rest I've decided not to go.

Saturday should be entertaining. I have full intentions of exploring Waterloo given the weather. Saturday is supposed to be 5 and Sunday is supposed to be 8. I'm estatic. Figure I'll go see my tree, perhaps make my way up to chapters and grab some groceries before either celebrating St.Patricks Day or spending my evening studying the one thing that makes me happy.

Last night while I was attempting to study for biochem I was stressed to the max. I decided to make a prayer wall. I saw one at my friend Sarah's house when we went out for her birthday and after I wrote down all the things I was stressed out about I felt so much better. Now I've got about 25 sticky notes on my wall and it's the first thing I see when I wake up and the last thing I see when I go to bed.

Well... thats enough for today. I'm exhausted, emotionally drained and in need of copious amounts of cake. I have no cake, or a solution for refilling my emotion quota. Sleep seems like the appropriate solution.

Oh yeah, I was on greencometrue today and I saw this article. It's about 3 odd and unusual ways to recycle.

All three of these are very cool ideas, especially the banana. Too bad I'm not more of a fancy person with shoes to shine.

Here they are:

1. The Recycle House - Paper Becomes a Home

These low-cost homes are created from old paper products. Each costs less than $5,000 and can provide a safe, durable, and clean environment for those without alternative housing.

2. The Recycled Chair - Guns Become a Seat

Furnishings from recycled materials are popping up everywhere, but this recycled chair puts a unique spin on reuse. It is made from recycled weapons from a civil war in Cambodia.

3. The Recycled Shoe Polish - A Banana Becomes Shoe Cleaner

While not necessarily a product, this idea had to be included. If you are looking for an eco-friendly and chemical-free alternative to shoe polish, simply have a banana. The peel can be used to shine and protect your shoes.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Hump Day

Blah, it's Wednesday. Middle of the week and full of extreme stress as per usual.

Day so far...
6:30am: Woke up. Not overly exciting, looked over at Astro and saw he had been recently updated which was rather unfortunate since I saw David had left me a message. Ah well, it was probably just some sort of a hello after he got off work, not important by any means. I relogged in and decided to start the day off right by checking FML. What better way to start the day then by laughing at the misfortunes of other people. Then off to the shower...

8:00am: Left for school. Almost died on my way. Holy geeeze, the wind was insane! It still is but I thought I was going to be blown away walking here. The wind was cold too and I'm pretty sure it tried to start raining. Got to school, grabbed a cocoa and a muffin and travelled to my invertebrate lecture.

8:30am: Class with Barton. Nothing like it. I actually don't mind waking up at 6:30 when I have class with him. A whopping 4 of us were in lecture today. I felt badly because he was so disappointed. He blamed it on the time change but I'm pretty sure people just don't come on Wednesdays because it's stuff we've already looked at in the lab.

9:30am: Bailed on biochem again. Not that I care, its not like this stuff is on our midterm. Figured I'd go to the bugs lounge and hang out there and attempt to get some work done. So far, not so much work. A bunch of browsing the internet and watching videos on youtube but not so much work. I'm going to start reading up on my term paper topic after this.

11:00am: Time it is currently... I really should get some work done.

I am pooched. This morning 15 minutes before I was supposed to wake up, a plastic container of some sort was blowing around outside and the blackbirds woke up earlier than I expected. I didn't get to 6:45... I fell asleep with the Knight of Cups in my bed and lost my pendulum in there somewhere. I woke up and I'm pretty sure one of the two was lost in my pants.

Plans for today:
-Get some work done now (mainly reading my zooplankton book from Laurier and my lab manual for my lab this afternoon).
-Rush through the 2nd half of my fetal pig lab.
-Run home, make some tuna mush or something similar for dinner
-Study for biochem to an extreme degree.
-Work on my Resume some more

I'm so unmotivated. Anyone have tylenol?

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Ultra tasty Tuesday

After my chem lab this afternoon I walk back to the BUGS lounge to find my phone yelling at me for being so far away. I was excited to see not only a facebook message but a text, phone call and phone message from my friend Mandy.

Mandy has been my best friend since I popped out of my mom. We did everything together since I can remember. Went to the same elementary school, had our first sleepovers together, christmas, halloween, high school, dances, everything really. Luckily enough, we're in the same city for University and live a whole 15 minute walk away from each other.

So she phones, leaves me a message that is somber sounding, quiet and I'm thinking... oh crap! So I telephone back, text and boot it home so I can look on facebook. Was she in pain? A broken heart? Something to do with the fam? No. It was something much more fearsome. A dinner invitation. I was ridiculously estatic. However, you may be thinking, what about that biochem exam you have on Thursday? I thought you were going to start studying for that. Well Mr. Conscience, it is only 8:30. I have full intentions of going to bed late.

I pop on a bus, head down to Laurier and Mandy and I have dinner at Wilf's. I didn't realize how much I had missed her until I saw her. No, we're not as close as we used to be and yeah, we really should see each other far more than we do. However, it just makes me adore the time we do spend together. We had good chats over dinner which consisted of a burger for me. Family, love, school and life, all the typical things you talk about while you're catching up with someone. It just made me realize that she's definitely someone I want in my life forever.

Looks like I got home just in time, it's now pouring outside. April showers seem to be coming in March this year.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Monday Morning Blues

I just spent an hour in Biochem wasting away my soul. God this woman who claims to be my professor cannot teach. I'm not pretending to know the material better than her, or have immaculate presentation skills. However, how can you expect your kids to learn when all you do is stand there and show us pictures of reactions. She doesn't bother to properly explain the diagrams she provides, write anything down, and she flips through the slides on her powepoint presentations like a newly concieved baby divides cells. It is nearly impossible to follow her. I can't wait until course evaluations...

Now you may be thinking, well maybe if you went to class and paid attention it wouldn't be so bad. For that you get a big "fuck you" from me. I admit, I don't go to class as often as I should (especially since I'm already on campus) but when I go I try and pay attention. My attention span is limited but should you actually teach properly, you'll have no issue engaging me. Oh well, I'll go home and start studying tonight and see how that goes...

In other news, only 2.5 weeks until my Invertebrate essay is due... that gets a huge FML. I'm researching Diel Vertical Migration of Zooplankton (sound exciting??) and while my research is complete, I have a feeling no matter how hard I try, I'm not going to do so great. Dave Barton is one of the smartest and most knowledgable people I've ever met. If I just give him a paper relaying information I found he definitely won't be impressed and most certainly feel the need to give me an astoundingly appropriate 50%.

10:55 am, Monday morning and I'm stressing again. It's only Monday!! Is this a result of the time change? Are the planets improperly lined for me today? Did I wake up on the wrong side of the bed? Horoscope says I'm turning into a gelatinous mass and need to hit the gym. I did roll to the left this morning...

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Green Enterprise Toronto

One of my goals is to increase my knowledge of environmental issues going on in Ontario and on a larger scale Canada. Living in Waterloo, I'm very close to St. Jacobs which is a farm based Mennonite community. For me, shopping locally is very easy. For someone living in Toronto, the chances of them being able to get local produce is pretty slim.

I'm following multiple Canadian environmental companies and movements on Twitter. FoodlandOntario and Holland Marsh both linked to a website called Green Enterprise Toronto. GET believes that Toronto can become a sustainable world-class city by supporting its local, green businesses. GET isn't just directed towards restaurants or produce. There are links up for clothing, health and beauty products, music, IT support and a bazillion other things.

Check it out, its one way to reduce your footprint - http://www.greenenterprise.net/web/

Damn Disney for filling me with hopes of finding the most amazing relationship in the world.

I'm watching the Princess Diaries 2 right now and after being single for a very content and quick passing 10 months (give or take a few depending on who is being asked), I'm wondering will I ever find the one for me? Will I ever find that beautiful blue eyed boy who will infuriate me so much yet at the same time make my heart skip? Will I find the man who will win my heart forever and be my best friend? Will I find that spark that will let me know this is the one person I'll never second guess, will always protect and defend me, and won't mind if I snore (which I currently don't!).

Being 21 I'm not overly worried about not finding someone. I have put a lot of thought into it though. I still feel like I'm 17. I never did the high school dating thing and was in my first relationship until last May. I've limited dating experience and I don't exactly know what it is I need to do to change that.

Don't get me wrong, I'm quite content on my own. I don't have to explain my actions to anyone, be responsible for anyone but myself, or come home to anyone. Some people would say that is horrible and life is incomplete, but right now my focus is only on me. I don't feel helpless, alone, or dependent on anyone right now. I could pick up tomorrow and if I wanted to, move away without having to consult anyone. I'd say that in itself is pretty amazing. At the same time though, not waking up on my own would be nice.

I'm just concerned that when I'm ready to consider another persons opinion on all matters, they won't be there...

Stupid Disney, I'm wondering if these types of relationships even exist.

Academia so far...

I'm in a rut...

This term has started off horribly, and with only a month left I can't see my marks jumping up to where I need them to be. I haven't done so hot on any of my exams and with my 2nd round of midterms starting this week its hard to find the motivation to start studying.

I've been up since 7:30 this morning and what have I done other than make cookies? Simply procrastinate. It's now 4:45 on Sunday and I've a biochem assignment due tomorrow and I keep putting it off more and more and more. I figure I'll start it soon, but there is a movie on from 5-7 and then another on from 8-10...

This week should be interesting...
Monday: Biochem assignment due, invertebrate lab, studying for biochem, passport jazz
Tuesday: BUGS election form due, Ambassador form due, Chem prelab due, Chem lab, biochem prep
Wednesday: Vertebrate lab, biochem prep
Thursday: Biochem cram... exam at 5:30
Friday (or Saturday - depending on which day we celebrate): St.Patrick's Day celebrations

Ok, I promise, 7pm I'll start on my biochem assignment.

An attempt to blog with a "T"-less keyboard

I'm going to attempt this whole blogging thing. I have every intention of keeping this up but whether this happens will reveal itself in time.

So what can you expect? Prepare to be dazzled beyond belief. Never have the adventures of your typical 20 something university student been so amazingly invigorating. Between the stresses of single life, the politics of academics and trying to increase my environmental awareness, who knows what kind of troubles I'll run into.