Curiosity or boredom?

I am probably one of the most curious people I know. It's how things have been ever since I can remember. As a kid I was always covered in mud from playing in the muck behind the house wanting to know what was there, or typically in trouble for looking in cupboards or under the stairs where I wasn't allowed. It got to the point where the funnest thing I could do by myself was take my computer apart and put it back together. Such a nerd, I know.

Now I find after graduating, I've fallen back into the ever curious person I used to be. Through out school I was just as bad, but it was always about scientific stuff. Like why this bug has this type of wing and lives in this type of environment, or why when you add too much acid to this environment, different species thrive while others decline. It's still like that, but I also find that I'm constantly trying to find the impossible.

I've always read too much into things, made things more dramatic than they are. It's at an escalated level now. I'm constantly looking for things that are out of the ordinary, things that make me different than everyone else. I'm curious about how people think, what they believe in. I'm constantly trying to justify my own beliefs and thoughts. Is it curiosity or boredom though?

I'll get off the boat and go exploring on my own in places I know I shouldn't be not only just because of safety reasons but because who in their right mind wants to go into a bush, late at night, alone, to see if they can find something interesting? No one, that's who. Not unless that person is so bored and so curious that they've signed off on a death wish. Apparently I am that stupid.

Now I'm getting a tattoo in 11 days and all I can think about is how it's going to feel. I find myself obsessing over it. What's it going to feel like, will it make me feel stronger, is it going to be liberating, am I okay being with this for life? I want to watch one being done, I want to feel what it's going to feel like. It's like a sickness. An obsessive addiction to something that isn't in existence yet. See, how am I this bored. Or is it just that I've been bitten by a curiousity bug? How is it that I'm digging for something fantastical?

Something weird is going on in this head of mine that I can't quite figure out and I hope to God that it's not sheer boredom, though I'm sure it is, that is making me think, feel and act like an idiot. I almost justified actions of people around me treating me like crap just because there's no one else to take my attention away from it.

How lame, bean, how lame.