Last regrets?

It's my last day in Waterloo, my last night in this bed, my last time writing from here.

Tonight I said goodbye to the one person who I want to say so many things to but just don't. I said goodbye to the best adopted little sister in the entire world who 98% of the time acts older than me. I said goodbye to the best big brother in the history of existence. I said goodbye to someone I can't decide whether I like or I don't and someone who if I never saw again, I 'd be absolutely miserable.

As I sit here, well technically lay here, and tears are streaming down my face, listening to the weepies, I can only think that the past 5 years have been the best roller-coaster of my life. Deciding to come to Waterloo broke my comfort bubble. I've never been so scared but you learn so quickly to adapt to a new environment and make it your own. Waterloo is my home, going back to Orillia is going to feel nice sure, but it isn't home; not anymore.

The past 8 months particularly I've found a hidden caves worth of treasures. Between irreplaceable friendships, irreconcilable relationships, heartache and heartbreak, and deep breaths I've found a part of me that can't be replaced. These people are my heart. I'm so afraid to fall asleep because I know when I wake up tomorrow I'll have to leave it all behind.

I'm prone to making things over dramatic and I'm sure this case is no less but drama aside, it doesn't make leaving easier. Of course I know I'll be back, but how often? I'm not made of money. I don't have a job either currently... frustrating and difficult this love.

I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave.

Throwing a tantrum doesn't make time slow down. Time doesn't have a soft spot for those departing.

I should have just done it. It's not like I'd have to deal with the awkward consequences... I don't want any part of my life to be a what if.